What to do?

What I like to do is almost every night, as I’m trying to fall asleep, I go over my stories in my head. I don’t usually act them out, because I’m trying to sleep, but I just go over them, figuring out dialog and kinda playing them through as though I were watching a movie in my head. (Does this make sense to anyone else or am I the only one that does that?) As a consequence, I almost always have one scene (or several) in each story of mine where the main character is sick or injured or something and so is in bed recouperating, because I can act that out while lying down! Yeah! I try to avoid that, but it doesn’t usually work, and so I’m sure that if I gave the basic synopsis of my stories they would almost all be something like guy meets girl, girl is sick/injured/dying/etc, guy helps to save girl and/or frets over her until she gets better, they fall in love and live happily ever after. I like romances. They have happy endings.

I would like to say that I write fantasy novels with an element of romance, but I have sorta come to the conclusion that I write romances with an element of fantasy.

This story that I’m working on now is a story that I’ve had in my head for several years. And I know that it sucks, but we’re not going to go into that. And since this story has been in my head for so long, I’ve gone over it a ton of times, so all of the major scenes are basically planned out, and I just have to type them up. So those parts usually go pretty quickly. It’s the in-between scenes that I hate. They’re boring, they’re slow, and I don’t plan them out so I never know what to write. I know part A, and I know part B, but I have no clue how they get from part A to part B.

That’s where I’m at right now. An in-between-scene. And I know it will be a short one, but I still don’t want to do it. IT’S BORING. I DONT WANNA.

So whenever I type up the major scenes, that’s when I get all caught up, and the days where I write 3000 words in a single day. But then I get to the in-betweens, and I write about … 200 words. (I think that’s kinda how many words I wrote yesterday, and I haven’t even opened the file today, and it’s almost 11pm.)

I want to finish this story. And I’m close, I know it. It’s a short one (most of mine are, actually.) I just need to get through this in-between, then there’s 4 major scenes that are pretty close together with minor in-betweens in between them. So I should be able to finish this month, if I work at it. But I don’t want to…

There’s a couple other stories … maaaaaaybe 3 … that I go through in my head regularly. One of them is basically another romance with a fantasy element. Another one is an idea that could be interesting but I have no idea where to take it. And the third one is one that I know I will never be able to write, as it involves politics, and I don’t know enough about politics to write up the background and causes of a fictional war in a fictional world. Ooh, and I just remembered another one that is basically straight romance. No fantasy element involved.

Now, lots of times I have a dream that has a super cool idea in it, and I think to myself, I should put that in a story. I’ve compiled a bunch of my super cool ideas in a notebook, and then I started writing a fantasy novel using those ideas, but I don’t know where to go with it or how to fit all the ideas in there. I would love to be able to make a fantasy epic on the lines of Golden Compass or Stardust, that has a ton of different elements in it, but I feel like I don’t know how. Also, since most of my cool ideas are from dreams, they don’t have beginnings or endings.

Every now and then I manage to remember enough of my dream that I write it down, and some of them are really cool, and I feel like I should write them up into stories (I actually made a short story of one, it had this super awesome twist right at the end that I never saw coming) but I don’t know how.

I always feel so unimaginitive when I try to come up with a plot. I have awesome elements, and should be able to make an awesome plot, but somehow the most that I can get is romance with elements of fantasy. I feel like maybe I could try collaborating with someone, planning out the plot with them, and then writing it myself. On the other hand, that brings us to the problem that my writing is also rather insipid, and I feel like the best that I can do is young adult level of writing. It doesn’t help that I really enjoy reading young adult fantasy novels, but when I read more adult level books, they’re usually action/adventure like James Rollins (which is more of the covert agencies and intrigues that I can barely follow and therefore cannot even pretend to write myself).

So at the moment, there are a bunch of stories that I have kicking around in my head. Once I’m done with this one, I will have one less. And then I guess I should move on to one of the other ones that I’ve been thinking of for so long. The problem is that I don’t want to. They all seem boring now, and I don’t want to have to deal with them. But I can’t think of anything new, either. It’s really quite frustrating. Whenever I think of something, it always reminds me of something that I’ve read or seen, and so I don’t want to write it, because it’s just like that other thing.

And while I love doing creative things like crafts and stuff, I can’t think of anything to do like that, either. Today I spent hours online googling steampunk crafts, hoping that something would be interesting. Nothing was interesting enough to convince me to try it. So instead, I spent all day on my computer. Then I started to watch one movie, stopped because it was boring, went back to the internet, watched another movie later, which was equally boring, and so I spent the entire time reading trivia on IMDB. I have no life, but I haven’t even been doing anything useful with my time, either. I am so bored with everything right now. I just want something exciting to come along and give me some motive to wake up before noon (and having to get up early and take the kitten to the vet because she’s got worms does not count).

I have a few different hobbies, I think. But I find them all too boring to actually want to do them right now. I need someone to give me something to do. Or something to write about. Or something to make a diorama of. Or … SOMETHING.


Published in: on June 24, 2011 at 11:08 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. What you need to do is get out of the house. Find a group that’s interested in your hobbies, see if there are any craft workshops being held in your area, things like that. How long has it been since you had a real conversation with someone who wasn’t related to you by blood (D. doesn’t count)?

    • well, I went to the movies with a friend on Monday. And … I saw a different friend sometime last week, I think. And before that … I saw you at the world’s fair?

      Ok, maybe I do need to get out more.

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